Warlach’s World

She struts onto stage like a resplendent peacock. The crowd applauds, the lights dim, and as the shadows envelope the great cavern of the Opera House, her fingers gently caress the first keys. Then, there in the darkness, a single, tiny light. Followed by another. And another, and still more – tiny beacons held aloft throughout the multitude…

No, they weren’t lighters, held up in praise of Tori Amos suddenly performing an 80’s power ballad; they were god damn mobile phones.

Now, I know I use my iPhone too much, I’m willing to admit I’m addicted. While we waited for the concert to start I held my phone above my head to try and get some reception to see if I’d had a response to an email I’d sent earlier. However, once the lights go out, that’s where it’s meant to end, because there’s one simple truth – all you’re doing is wasting your time and pissing people off behind you.

If you have a camera phone, most likely a shot of a woman far away on a barely lit stage is going to look like absolute rubbish. It’s not worth it. Perhaps you have a better, digital camera and it’s the LCD display I can see glowing – still, why both taking pictures that do nothing to capture being there, but distract you and others from enjoying what you paid to bloody experience? The music.

Don’t get me started on flashes. People, much like your Neanderthal cousins sitting in football stadiums and using flashes, all you’re going to get is extremely bright shots of the back of somebody’s head surrounded by blackness. The space it too large for a flash and your ignorance makes me hate you. For the record, there was a woman sitting behind me at the Tori concert whose camera I almost confiscated after numerous blinding flashes. (Thankfully, holding my hand in the ‘giving the finger’ position behind my head, which she could only see in the flash exposed preview image, seemed to convey the message to stop)

Now, this could just be a rant about social etiquette. I know there are plenty of people who took photos last night who will be so chuffed that they can show off to their friends how close they were as Ms Amos played two pianos at once. There is the bigger issue though.

Earlier this year I went on a round the world trip. The ability by tourists, particularly Americans, although I don’t want to signal them out, to ignore the ‘No Flash Photography’ signs is mind boggling. In the Catacombs beneath Paris, which are filled with the skeletal remains of thousands of people, it’s just as much about respect as it is about damaging art and antiques through the exposure to flash.

It all came to the head, no pun intended, in the Louvre.

During the days I spent wandering the museum in total awe I witnessed a group of College students dare a girl to fellate one of the Ancient Greek statues, which she did with gusto, leaving a lipstick ring on the stone. We had an *ahem* heated exchange before they left and I sent security after them, but it didn’t leave me in the best mood when I ran into a group of American tourists, queuing up to stand one by one in front of the Venus de Milo to have their picture taken. I pointed out you’re not meant to be using flash photography to the woman taking the pictures, only to be asked how else was she meant to get a picture? When I questioned why she needed a picture at all she spat back:

“I paid to get in here and I’m gonna get my moneys worth.”

This for me strikes at the heart of the issue. While less burlesque, the woman’s attitude was similar to the girl giving the stone blow job - I have a right to try and own this experience.

In the case of the photos, what is the point? There are better representations of the Venus available in the gift shop and online. The evidence of you standing, arms and expression limp, like a fat, consumer drone adds nothing to you, and it certainly adds nothing to the Venus herself.

We’ve become so obsessed with capturing and recording experience that we often ignore what we actually came for: the experience. To bring it all back, whether you like her music of not Tori Amos is an amazing performer who exudes an energy that just can’t be captured, but video or audio.  Rather than being in such a rush to capture, catalogue and store, why not experience the moment and then let it fuel your own creativity – write a song or a story, paint or simply tell others about how it made you feel. The copy/paste, Xerox approach to culture leaves you with nothing more than quickly degrading copy that takes up space.